Control is one factor in anxiety. Anxiety often feels uncomfortable and in response we often seek to find control in other ways. Not only that, a desire for control can prompt us to feel anxious. Dr. Purves speaks to this in a Youtube video “what is anxiety?” Desire for control in our lives itself isn’t a bad thing; however, it can cause us more distress when we are grasping for control over things outside of our locus of control. We may seek smaller or bigger things in our lives that we seemingly have more control over, for example, designating my workout shirt.
However, it could also be needing to control how your spouse spends free time, to have strict rules around adhering to your routine or preoccupation with how you look. Notice if there are any areas where a desire for control is causing you to hit a wall (emotionally, relationally, in regard to wellness, etc). For myself, I hit a wall when I need to create unrealistic and strict decisions for adhering to productivity.” I have to wake up at 7am to do my workout.” Well I struggle to get up that early and very frequently just don’t workout, which then causes me to judge myself. I could use more flexibility and grace when I can’t always adhere to my ideal plans. My anxiety comes in and I think if I don’t adhere to my plan I will not complete all of my work tasks for the day. My anxiety is related to productivity and valuing productivity that can be measured more than my wellness goal.