Updated: May 21, 2020
I can struggle to celebrate or cherish the “small” wins in my life because my critical voice is a bully. I put “small” in quotes because it is only considered small based on our perspective. If you relate to this, let's try to work on acknowledging and expressing gratitude for the small wins. Our brains can be wired to be critical based on patterns and experiences we have picked up. In some ways it may serve you as a method of protection from the criticism of others; however, I am sure it does not always serve you and may put you in a tunnel of negative thinking/ negative feelings. This happens for me so maybe I’m speaking to myself.
Anywhoo, comparison can sometimes tell us that our wins aren’t good enough and it won’t be good enough until...(I get that PhD, I am independently licensed, I work out everyday consistently..blah blah blah). Often our “small” win just don't seem exciting and noteworthy. Especially when others in our lives seem to be experiencing “noteworthy” things. Sometimes it may be hard for us to praise our wins because of the fallacy of perfectionism. Practice starting small to open your window for gratitude. When you wake up that is a win, when your limbs are fully functioning that is a win, etc. If we can’t have gratitude for our basic living how can we truly have gratitude for the big things. Notice what you take for granted about yourself and start acknowledging it as a win (e.g. you are a good mediator, you express love openly, you have great critical thinking skills). This may feel inorganic or as if we are lying (Are you calling me and yourself a liar? *Side eye). Sometimes we may have to ask others what they are grateful for or admire about is to push past our criticism and to get us started (Open your ears and hearts to receive it. Before a "yes...but" thought can creep in just say thank you to the person for their kind words. I am actually speaking directly to myself and have done better with this but it was hard as HELL).
Hopefully we can start seeing these “small” wins as big accomplishments in our lives just as any seemingly exciting accomplishment we undertake.
So let’s try this to start rewiring our brain for self gratitude... keep a “small” win in mind and recite this...
"My win (INSERT WIN HERE) is good enough, working toward other goals doesn’t negate my win, and I can have this win while still working on other things and even when I miss the mark. The goals left unfinished do not define me, my worth or my value as a human being. Thank you self for this win you are bomb AF Queen."
Of course also add in a thanks to your spiritual guide (whoever or whatever that may be).
For me I’ll say, Thank you God for making me complete although not yet finished. Thank you for always being there and I thank you that I have not hit the bottom because you left me up. Thank you for patience and grace when I do not always lead with discernment or respect for your will in my life.
Comment your thoughts and let's dialogue Melanated and Anxious Queens!